More than 20 years ago, Gregg Fort was my boss at Florida International University.
On Tuesday night, I had the opportunity to speak to his students at the University of Oklahoma.
A lot happened between those two moments.
Jobs changed. Schools changed. Responsibilities grew. Careers took unexpected turns.
But one thing stayed with me: a relationship built through working together.
Years ago, Gregg knew about an opportunity at Texas A&M University-Commerce, now East Texas A&M University. He also knew me. Through his childhood friend, Sam Walker, Gregg helped make a connection that opened the door for me to become a director.
Think about what that really means.
Gregg didn't just know my name.
He knew my work.
And he was willing to put his reputation behind mine.
That's networking.
But it's probably not the version you've been taught.
Your Work Is Part of Your Network
When we talk about networking with students and young professionals, we often make it sound like a numbers game.
How many people did you meet?
How many LinkedIn connections do you have?
How many business cards did you collect at the convention?
How many athletic directors, administrators or sports communicators know your name?
Those things can help.
But I think we're missing a bigger question:
What do those people know about you?
There is a big difference between someone knowing your name and someone being willing to recommend you.
A LinkedIn connection requires a click.
A recommendation requires trust.
When someone recommends you for a job, internship, graduate assistantship or opportunity, they're putting a little piece of their own reputation on the line.
They're telling someone else:
"I know this person. I believe in them. You should give them a chance."
You can't collect that kind of trust at a networking reception.
You earn it.
You're Building References Before You Ask for Them
If you're an intern, graduate assistant or young sports communicator, your next opportunity may come from an application you submit.
But it may not.
Someone may be forming an opinion about you today that becomes important three years from now.
Your supervisor sees whether you meet deadlines.
Your coworkers notice whether you help when the workload gets heavy.
Coaches learn whether they can trust you.
Student-athletes see whether you treat them with respect.
Other sports communicators notice whether you make their jobs easier or harder on game day.
People remember whether you follow through.
They remember how you respond when something goes wrong.
They remember whether you take responsibility.
They remember whether you only show up when you need something.
You're building references long before you ask anyone to be one.
That's why your first job isn't "just" your first job.
Your internship isn't "just" an internship.
Your graduate assistant position isn't simply something you need to complete before getting a full-time position.
Every one of those experiences is creating a group of people who will someday answer a very important question about you:
"What do you think of Danny?"
Put your own name in that sentence.
Now ask yourself what you hope they'll say.
More importantly, ask yourself what you've given them evidence to say.
Would Someone Put Their Reputation Behind Your Name?
This is a tougher question than, "Do I have a good network?"
Look at the people you've worked with during the past few years.
Who would confidently recommend you?
Not because they like you.
Not because you're connected on LinkedIn.
Not because you occasionally comment on each other's posts.
Who has seen enough of your work, character and consistency to make a phone call on your behalf?
That's a different kind of connection.
And here's another uncomfortable question:
Are you maintaining those relationships when you don't need anything?
It's easy to send someone a message when you're looking for a job.
It's easy to reconnect when you need a reference.
It's easy to ask someone for 20 minutes when they work at a school with an opening you want.
Relationships shouldn't begin again every time you need something.
Sometimes the best networking message has no request attached to it.
"How are you doing?"
"I saw your team had a great weekend."
"Congratulations on the new position."
"I was thinking about something you taught me."
"Thank you again for helping me."
No résumé.
No job opening.
No ask.
Just a relationship.
Do a Relationship Audit
Here's something I'd encourage you to do this week.
Write down the names of five people you've worked with over the past two years.
For each person, ask yourself:
What would this person say I'm good at?
What evidence have I given them?
What would they say I still need to improve?
When was the last time I contacted them without asking for something?
Would they confidently recommend me for an opportunity?
Don't answer the questions based on what you hope is true.
Be tough on yourself.
Then pick one person and reconnect this week.
Don't ask about a job.
Don't send your résumé.
Don't ask them to "keep you in mind."
Talk to them because the relationship matters.
The Long Game
When Gregg Fort was my boss at FIU, neither of us knew that more than two decades later I'd be speaking to one of his classes at Oklahoma.
I certainly couldn't have mapped out every stop between then and now.
That's the point.
You don't know which coworker, supervisor, classmate, coach or colleague will cross your path again.
You don't know who will someday hear about an opportunity and think of you.
And you don't know when someone will be sitting in a room where your name comes up.
But you can control what they remember when it does.
Don't build a network because you need a job. Build a reputation that makes people want to help when the right opportunity appears.
Connections may introduce you.
Your reputation gives people a reason to recommend you.
And trust is what makes them willing to put their name next to yours.
That's the kind of network worth building.
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