Relationships are built over time.
I noticed the number.
But what caught my attention was something much more important.
I started looking at the names.
There were people I knew from college athletics. Former coworkers. Friends. People from schools where I've worked. People I've met professionally. People who have known me for years. Others I've gotten to know much more recently.
They represented different jobs, different cities and different chapters of my life.
And seeing all those names together reminded me of something I've learned throughout my career:
The worst time to start building your network is when you desperately need one.
Your Network Isn't a Contact List
We sometimes make networking far more complicated than it needs to be.
Go to a convention.
Collect business cards.
Connect on LinkedIn.
Meet an athletic director.
Introduce yourself to an SID.
Send some emails.
Those things can all be part of networking.
But none of them, by themselves, create a relationship.
You can have 2,000 LinkedIn connections and still have very few people you would feel comfortable calling when your career hits a difficult stretch.
That's the difference between having contacts and having relationships.
A contact knows your name.
A relationship knows your story.
And when you're looking for your first job, trying to make a career move or suddenly find yourself searching for your next opportunity, that difference matters.
Don't Introduce Yourself Only When You Need Something
Think about the email many people send when they're searching for a job:
"Hi, I hope you're doing well. I'm currently looking for my next opportunity. Please let me know if you hear of anything."
There's nothing necessarily wrong with sending it.
But ask yourself a harder question:
When was the last time you talked with that person before you needed their help?
If the answer is three years ago, that's not much of a relationship.
Networking shouldn't begin with:
What can you do for me?
It should begin much earlier with:
How can we know each other better?
Ask about someone's work.
Congratulate them when something good happens.
Share something that might help them.
Introduce them to someone.
Check in occasionally.
Have coffee when you're in the same city.
Send the message when you don't need a favor.
Those small interactions add up.
I Didn't Build Those 300 Relationships With One Post
That's what struck me when I looked at the people who responded to my Facebook post.
I didn't meet them all at the same convention.
They didn't all come from the same job.
And they certainly didn't all enter my life because I was looking for employment.
Those relationships accumulated over years.
Some started because we worked together.
Some came through college athletics.
Some began through professional organizations.
Some came from people introducing me to other people.
And some had nothing to do with my career at all.
That's what a real network looks like.
It grows while you're living and working, not simply while you're searching.
Relationships are built over time.
From 2013-16, Adam Ledyard, now Assistant AD for Communications
at East Texas Baptist, and I worked in close proximity as colleagues
in college athletics. Since we first met, I've watched Adam become
an innovator in our profession, but what has meant even more to me
is the friendship we've built along the way. He has become someone
I trust, respect and know I can count on—one of those relationships
that reminds me why building a network is about far more than your
next job.
Networking Isn't About Finding Someone Important
Here's another mistake I see young professionals make:
They try to network up.
They want to meet the athletic director.
The senior associate AD.
The communications director.
The person with the biggest title in the room.
Meet those people. Learn from them.
But don't ignore the person sitting beside you because their title doesn't seem important enough.
Today's intern could become tomorrow's assistant director.
Today's graduate assistant could eventually become a department head.
The student sitting beside you in class could someday know about an opportunity that's perfect for you.
And there's an even simpler reason to build relationships with people regardless of title:
They're people. Not career assets.
If you're deciding whether someone is worth knowing based on what they might someday do for you, you're not networking.
You're prospecting.
People can usually tell the difference.
Build Before You Need
If you're currently employed and happy, this is actually one of the best times to strengthen your network.
There's no desperation attached.
You aren't asking for anything.
You can simply get to know people.
Start small.
Reach out to one person whose work you've been following.
Reconnect with a former colleague.
Ask someone for a 20-minute conversation about their career.
Comment thoughtfully on someone's LinkedIn post instead of simply clicking "Like."
Congratulate someone who received a promotion.
Make an introduction between two people who should know each other.
Then do something most people forget:
Stay in touch.
You don't need to message everyone every week.
You don't need a complicated networking spreadsheet with 500 names.
You just need to be intentional about maintaining relationships.
If You're Looking Right Now, Start Anyway
Maybe you're reading this and thinking:
"That's great advice, Danny, but I already need the job."
Then start today.
You can't go backward and build relationships five years ago.
But you can stop treating every conversation as a transaction starting now.
Don't message 50 strangers asking whether they know of openings.
Choose five people.
Talk with them.
Ask questions.
Listen.
Tell them what you're trying to accomplish.
Ask what they think you're missing.
Ask who else they believe you should meet.
And when someone helps you, don't disappear after you get what you wanted.
That's how a connection starts becoming a relationship.
Your Network Is Bigger Than Your Next Job
This may be the most important part.
Networking isn't only about getting hired.
The right relationships can help you make better decisions.
They can challenge you.
They can tell you when your resume isn't good enough.
They can prepare you for an interview.
They can introduce you to someone you never would have met.
They can tell you about an opportunity before you see the posting.
They can encourage you after another rejection.
And sometimes they'll tell you something you don't want to hear but probably need to.
That's why I don't measure my network by the number next to "connections" on LinkedIn.
I think about the people.
The relationships.
The conversations.
The people I've helped and the people who have helped me.
More than 300 people responding to one Facebook post didn't create my network.
It showed me the network that had been built over years.
And it reminded me of a lesson worth sharing with anyone trying to build a career:
Don't wait until you need a job to build your network.
Build it when things are going well.
Build it when you have nothing to ask for.
Build it by helping other people.
Build it one relationship at a time.
Because someday you may need your network.
And when that day comes, you'll be glad you didn't wait until then to start building it.
