I recently had a conversation with Isabelle Leofanti that reminded me why I care so much about helping people who are trying to figure out what comes next in their careers.
There was no job interview.
There wasn’t a position I was trying to fill.
There wasn’t an agenda beyond getting to know someone, listening and seeing where the conversation might lead.
And maybe that’s exactly why it was so meaningful.
Isabelle and I talked about where she is right now. We discussed some of her short-term goals and where she would eventually like her career to take her. We talked about possibilities, questions and what she can be doing now to prepare herself for opportunities later.
We also talked about staying connected.
Not because I can promise her an opportunity.
I can’t.
But I can promise that one conversation doesn’t have to be the end of the relationship.
Networking Has Become Too Transactional
Somewhere along the way, we started treating networking like a numbers game.
How many LinkedIn connections do you have?
How many people did you meet at the convention?
How many business cards did you collect?
How many people can you reach out to when you need something?
I think we're measuring the wrong things.
Having 5,000 connections doesn't necessarily mean you have 5,000 relationships.
A connection happens with the click of a button.
A relationship takes time.
That's why conversations like the one I had with Isabelle matter to me.
I had an opportunity to listen.
Not to immediately solve something.
Not to tell her exactly what she should do.
Not to make the conversation about my career.
Just listen.
Then I could ask questions, share some of what I've learned over more than 26 years working in college athletics and hopefully give her a few things to think about as she makes decisions about her future.
That's networking to me.
Sometimes You Don't Need to Have the Answer
This is something I want young professionals to understand.
When you reach out to someone, they don't have to have a job waiting for you for the conversation to be valuable.
They don't have to introduce you to the athletic director at your dream school.
They don't have to fix your resume.
They don't have to magically move your career forward overnight.
Sometimes you need someone who will listen to where you want to go and ask:
Why?
What are you doing right now to get there?
Who else should you be talking to?
What experience are you missing?
What can you start doing this week?
Those questions can be more valuable than a job posting.
Because opportunities eventually come and go.
Preparation stays with you.
Don't Disappear After the Conversation
This may be the biggest piece.
Don't let a good conversation become a one-time conversation.
I've watched this happen countless times throughout my career.
Someone reaches out.
We have a great conversation.
They thank me.
And then I never hear from them again.
Six months later, they need something.
Suddenly, they're back.
That's not relationship building.
If someone gives you their time, stay connected.
Tell them when you applied for the position you discussed.
Send them the portfolio you finally finished.
Let them know when you landed the internship.
Ask another question.
Congratulate them when something good happens in their career.
You don't need to contact them every week.
You simply need to show that the relationship matters even when you don't need anything.
The Other Person Has a Responsibility, Too
Here's where I want to challenge those of us who have been doing this for a while.
We can't constantly tell young professionals to network and then ignore them when they try.
If someone makes a thoughtful effort to connect with us, we have an opportunity.
Maybe we can't spend an hour with everyone.
Maybe we can't answer every message immediately.
And we certainly can't promise everyone a job.
But when we can give someone 20 or 30 minutes, that time can matter more than we realize.
Think about your own career.
Somebody answered your question.
Somebody introduced you to someone.
Somebody looked at your resume.
Somebody told you what you needed to hear instead of what you wanted to hear.
Somebody gave you a chance.
We don't repay those people by paying them back.
We repay them by doing it for someone else.
That's Why This Matters to Me
My conversation with Isabelle wasn't about what I could get from the relationship.
It was about learning more about her.
Where does she want to go?
What does she want to accomplish?
What opportunities could make sense?
And how might another conversation help her get a little closer?
I don't know where those conversations will eventually lead.
That's okay.
Not every relationship needs a predetermined destination.
But I do know this:
I want to keep having them.
I want to keep meeting students and young professionals who are trying to figure out their next move.
I want to ask better questions.
I want to challenge them when necessary.
I want to introduce them to people when it makes sense.
And when an opportunity crosses my desk and makes me think, I know someone who might be a good fit for this, I want to have relationships strong enough that I know who to call.
That's a big part of what GetSET2Connect means to me.
It's not about building the biggest network.
It's about building better relationships.
Your Assignment
Here's something simple you can do today.
Think about one person you've connected with during the past year who gave you their time, advice or encouragement.
Don't ask them for anything.
Just reach out.
Tell them what has happened since you last spoke.
Thank them for something you took away from your conversation.
Then ask how they're doing.
That's it.
Because your network isn't built only when you need something.
It's built in all the moments when you don't.
And sometimes the most meaningful opportunity you can give another person isn't a job.
It's your time.
Stay Connected.
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